An Open Letter to ESPN

Dear ESPN,

Your coverage of today's semifinal was nothing short of unacceptable.

The final half hour of the game was not broadcast due to a power outage in Austria. Throughout this period viewers of ESPN were subject to the gross ineptitude of Rece Davis and Julie Foudy in the studio and, in a truly surreal twist, footage of German fans in Basel watching the game. This portion of the game was also surely the most exciting part of an excellent game, with the Germans scoring to grab the lead, the Turks equalizing, and then the Germans nabbing the winner in the 89th minute.

You kept making excuses about the coverage, that this problem affects viewers throughout the world, and that "it wasn't our fault." It was.

It all stems from your ridiculous cost-cutting decision to not actually send any personnel to Switzerland or Austria. You send a full set of commentators and camera crew to South Africa to monitor Mariusz Pudzianowski and Magnus Samuelsson lifting Atlas Stones in the farce otherwise known as World's Strongest Man, but you can't shell out for plane tickets for Gray and Rae to call the semifinal of the world's second largest soccer competition.

And you call yourself the Worldwide Leader. Shame.

If ESPN had its own feed coming from, say, Basel, Switzerland, instead of relying on the international feed routed through Austria, there would have been no problem. Do you know what network did just that? Al Jazeera, the famous Bin Laden sympathizers, decided it was worth the investment to have its own feed. Their viewers got to watch the end of that match.

That's not to mention the other problems that sprung up from having Gray and Rae commentate from a closet in Bristol, Connecticut. They had no control over replays or camera angles. Often, the camera would settle on someone in the stands that was obviously prominent to viewers somewhere but was unknown to our commentators, leading to an awkward silence. This happened with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Erdogan approximately 15 times over the course of the tournament, with Rae finally figuring out who he was in today's broadcast due to his juxtaposition with Michel Platini and Angela Merkel, but still unable to attach a name to the Turkish Prime Minister.

Also, as much as we tend to denigrate the work of sideline reporters, they do serve a purpose. It is helpful to have access to the players and coaches on the field to get a sense of how the game is progressing. Rae & co. do a good job of pregame research, but once the action starts, they are completely oblivious to anything happening on the sidelines.

Euro 2008 has been a huge success for your station, and you have reaped some serious financial gains. Do a favor to the fans who support you, and invest some money towards putting together a broadcast worthy of the occasion.

Much love,

The Good Doctor
Absolute Stunners Inc.