Gus' Ruskis Shock Netherlands, Whip Out the Stolichnaya

In what has to be considered the most outrageous of upsets of Euro 2008, Dutchman Gus Hiddink denied his compatriots a spot in the semifinals in leading a fantastic Russian side past the Oranje 3-1. Goals came courtesy of Roman Pavlyuchenko (56'), Ruud "VanGOL" Van Nistelrooj (86'), Dmitri Torbinski (112!), and Andrei "Looks 17, Shadily Aged 27" Arshavin (116!!).

The Russians and the Dutch threatened each others' goals with exciting attacking play throughout the match, wide open for the most part. One realizes the magnitude of this epic upset when (s)he considers just how convincing a side Marco Van Basten had organized in the previous matches of the tournament; The Dutch midfield comprised of Orlando Engelaar (FC Twente), Nigel de Jong (Hamburg SV), Rafael Van Der Vaart (Hamburg SV), and Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool FC) dominated their opposite numbers of world-class France and Italy (Arjen Robben and Robin VP were utilized as substitutes for chrissake), while an effervescent Gio van Bronckhorst bolted up the flank time and time again to provide wicked service and even an occasional effort on goal. Ruud looked largely comfortable up top, and Wesley Sneijder, whom we at AS had profiled as a player to watch, knocked in an absolute stunner vs. La Belle France and always threatened on the offensive.

Yet it was a Russian XI full of guile that would serve the Dutchmen up an extra-time-pie-in-the-face after a 1-1 draw at 90 minutes. Arshavin in particular was spectacular all along the way, and indeed he deserves the attention he's since requested of top La Liga sides. Though diminutive, the elvin midfielder created myriad opportunities for Hiddink's men with mercurial runs through the Dutch defense and incisive passing that surely made coach Marco queasy. It was only fitting that Andrei score the clinching goal to cap off a groundbreaking, career-boosting display. Even Cesc Fabregas has commented on Spain's need to be wary of Arshavin in the upcoming semifinal. Another reason the Dutch found themselves on their heels and asses was the irrepressible dash of left-sided Yuri Zhirkov, Russia's darting foil to the Dutch Van Bronckhorst. Zhirkov impressed with pacy forays into the attack and decent service for the likes of Pavlyuchenko, who also performed at the highest level.

This Russian side now garners much more respect from pundits and soccer fanatics alike. Will they be the masters of their own destiny and bring the Euro Cup home to the steppes? Let us know what you think in the comments section!