ASotD 5/31: Joao Moutinho

Check out this strike from 21 year old Sporting Lisbon captain Joao Moutinho.  Moutinho juggles twice before volleying goalwards, beating the hapless Georgian keeper.  Think Portugal has enough attacking weapons?

ASotD 5/30: David Villa

The situation:  March 26, key pre-Euro friendly between behemoths Spain and Italy tied at 0-0 in the 77th minute.  2006 FIFA world player of the year Fabio Cannavaro loops a lackadaisical clearing header to the corner of the box.  Gigi Buffon, the world's pre-eminent keeper, mans the net.  Enter David Villa to produce what is for my money the goal of the year...

ESPN Euro Announcing Teams

ESPN released its announcing teams today and it's great news.  See if you recognize an addition to the ESPN team...

Studio Team: Rece Davis, Rob Stone and Julie Foudy
Play by Play: Derek Rae and Adrian Healey
Analysts: Andy Gray, Tommy Smyth, and Robbie Mustoe
Reporter: Pedro Gomez

via awfulannouncing.com

Holy crap..Andy Gray!!!  How did ESPN get their hands on him?  Anyway, the improvement from the Dave O'Brien/Marcelo Balboa days of World Cup 2006 is vast.  This is probably the first time I have said this regarding their soccer coverage but, Kudos ESPN.

ASotD: Pogrebnyak vs. Serbia

UEFA Cup winners Zenit St. Petersburg's Pavel Pogrebnyak steps up on the international stage to blast home a delicious free kick vs. Serbia in a Euro 2008 warm-up for the Ruskis.  This even made SportsCenter's Top Plays.

Horrendous American Display at Wembley

The senior US squad fell to an uninspired English side 2-0 at Wembley today, with goals courtesy of captain John Terry (38') and obvious man-of-the-match Steven Gerrard (59').  Good to see Terry climb out of the massive hole he dug himself into at the Champions League final (see replay of the tragedy here).  Gerrard's goal made the American defense look amateurish, the Liverpudlian streaking onto a gorgeous throughball from Gareth Barry and slotting home past the whackness that is Brad Guzan with aplomb.  England coach Fabio Capello's choice to play Stevey-G on the left wing seems to have borne luscious fruit.  As a bonus, 33-year-old Becks looked very dangerous on set-piece situations, curling seriously sweet service onto Terry's cranium for the opening goal.  The MLS hasn't really done David any wrong so far.

Hardly any positive statement can characterize the Americans' showing, though.  Yet again, Bradley's Boys demonstrated they cannot possess the ball comfortably in the midfield, nor can they seem to muster up much creativity going on the offensive without our favorite California surfer-dude Landon Donovan (although his wave-riding bro Frankie Hejduk made a totally radical appearance in the second half, providing more attacking impetus than starter Steve Cherundolo).  Beasley didn't bring it at all, letting all of us down who thought he might be in somewhat inspired form after his goal in Rangers' recent Scottish cup triumph.  On the other side of midfield, Josh Wolff made a strong case for his own international retirement.  And Michael Bradley and Ricardo Clark never had the slightest chance against the dynamic duo of Lampard and Gerrard.

Check out the video for match highlights here at 101greatgoals.

ASotD 5/28: Bafetimbi Gomis

My first reaction upon seeing the French selection for Euro 2008 was, "Who is Bafetimbi Gomis?"  I thought Domenech was an idiot for picking the relatively unknown St. Etienne striker over the world-class Trezeguet and Cisse.  Now, I'm the idiot.  Gomis struck two absolute beauties in his debut call-up for Les Bleus including this one in the 60th minute:

101 Greatest Goals of the Season

This is the best link of the year:

101 greatest goals of the year

Enjoy!

My mind is awash in stunners.  Many thanks to our friends at 101greatgoals.com.  Argue for your favorite of the year in the comments section.

Absolute Stunners Player Profile: Niko Kranjcar

Absolute Stunners Player Profile:  Niko Kranjcar (Croatia, Portsmouth)

Quick Facts:

Born:  August 13, 1984 in Zagreb

Position:  Withheld Striker/Attacking Midfielder

Clubs:  Dinamo Zagreb (2001-2004), Hajduk Split (2004-2006), Portsmouth (2006-)

Accolades:  Prva HNL Champion (2003 with Dinamo, 2005 with Hajduk) Croatian Cup Champion (2001, 2002 both with Dinamo) Croatian Supercup Champion (2002, 2003 with Dinamo, 2005 with Hajduk) FA Cup Champion (2008 with Portsmouth) 39 senior team caps

Pronunciation Guide:  Crank-yar

They call Croatia the Brazil of Europe, not because of its capacity to produce coffee, highly unequal income distribution, or propensity to produce buxom beach babes, but rather because the Croats play a highly attractive brand of one-touch, flowing, attacking football.  Nobody personifies this style more than Niko Kranjcar.  Equal parts Davor Suker and Kaka, Kranjcar has become among the first names on the team sheet for Harry Redknapp at Portsmouth and Slaven Bilic for the Croatian national side.  Kranjcar is noted for his ability to put 40 yard screamers past goalkeepers (just ask Scott Carson and the rest of the Three Lions).  He also manages to wheedle his way out of nearly impossible situations with his quick feet.  Oh yeah, and he is six foot one and often the fastest guy on the field.  His combination of skills, physical ability, and bloodline (his father Zlatko is a former Dinamo Zagreb striker and onetime national team manager) have made him a star in his homeland; Euro 2008 is his opportunity to become a household name throughout the rest of the world.  

Come June 8th, look out for the red-and-white tablecloth with the number 19 on the back.  Rumored for a transfer to a higher profile club (perhaps Arsenal) and destined to have a break-out Euro, you can say you knew him when...

And of course, the video evidence of Kranjcar's brilliance:

 

ASotD: Beckham from 70

Another goal for Becks from behind the half.

Absolute Stunners Player Profile: SAMIR NASRI

Absolute Stunners Player Profile: Samir Nasri (France, Arsenal)

Quick Facts:

Birthday: June 26, 1987
Position: Attacking midfielder
Clubs: Olympique de Marseille (2000-2008), Arsenal (2008- )
Accolades: Winner of UEFA Intertoto Cup in 2005 (Olympique de Marseille), French League Young Player of the Year in 2007 (Olympique de Marseille), Runner-up of Coupe de France in 2006 (Olympique de Marseille), Runner-up of Coupe de France in 2007 (Olympique de Marseille),Winner of the UEFA European Under-17 Football Championship in 2004 (France national football team), Marseille's player of the year, as voted on by the fans in 2007


The Marseille-born Nasri has earned spectacular comparisons to Zidane The Great not only because of his Algerian heritage and the fact that both grew up in the French port city, but also, and indeed more importantly, because of his exciting and skillful play for l’OM and France. To any young French player, even being mentioned in the same sentence as Zidane would seem a miracle, but the future of French football hasn’t let the hype get to his head. Nasri displays composure that belies his age both on and off the field, in stark contrast to the Cristiano Ronaldo of a few years ago.

Perhaps the finest attributes of Nasri’s game are his impeccable vision and accurate passing, allowing him to lead the attack in the most fluent and efficient manner. Constantly involved, Nasri can easily change the course of a match with a deft flick, pinpoint throughball, or sumptuous longball cross-field a la Gerrard/Alonso. Nasri also possesses absurdly sweet touch on the ball and the balance of a tightrope walker (see posted video below). That Nasri’s compatriot Arsene Wenger has (or will soon) snatched up the Kabyle field marshall from his boyhood club only supports the general consensus on the still-developing zoobers*.


*zoobers (pronounced ZOO-berz): an extremely cute individual

ASotD: Memorial Day Special

A great compilation of US goals for Memorial day:

Turks in Trouble

The Boys from the Bosphorus look to be in some serious trouble.  Basically, they don't have a credible defense.  For some reason, coach Fatih Terim has only named five defenders to his squad, and unfortunately for Fatih's future, two of them have already gone down injured.  With only three full-time defenders, the terrible Terim has been deploying Newcastle midfielder Emre Belozoğlu as a left back. 

This is simply an awful coaching decision.  Emre is arguably the most creative player on this Turkish team.  He gained a reputation as a youngster on the forlorn footballing grounds of Zeytinburnuspor as a creative midfielder capable of taking on defenders.  His dribbling probably ranks as his finest attribute.  His left foot is also capable of blistering long range strikes unexpected from such a diminutive player.  Though he has battled various injuries over the last few years, he is still the same player Pele ranked in his top 125 living footballers in 2004.  Now 27, and in his prime age-wise, Emre should be allowed to be the creative catalyst for the Turks at Euro 2008.  

Instead he is tucked away on the back line, where his attack-mindedness will only create holes in front of an already shoddy defense.  Volkan, the starting Turkish keeper, is inconsistent.  For Fenerbahçe this season, he had his moments of brilliance (the penalty shootout against Sevilla in the Round of 16 of the Champions League) and his moments of daft ineptitude (the rest of that game against Sevilla--two goals right through his hands).  His howlers are as famous as his athleticism and shot-blocking abilities.  The Turks have grown to accept him as their keeper, in the same way the French for years convinced themselves Fabien Barthez was their best bet between the posts.  However, it is vital that his defense provides him the best possible cover.  Emre is simply not the answer.  

Fatih Terim needs to figure out how to correctly deploy his best weapon or he is going to quickly find himself back in Anatolia serving köfte at a rundown tea house.

Good News Arse Fans!

SAMIR TO ARSE!!

Looks like Samir Nasri will actually become a Gunner. Thank you, God.

In depth feature on the next Zizou to come...

Footballers' Significant Others

Obviously footballers have first dibs when it comes to the biddy market. Who are your favorite slags?

Pictured: Sylvie van der Vaart

US U-20's Head Home After Disappointing Toulon Outing

Perhaps this was to be expected as the most talented American youngsters (Michael Bradley, an injured Benny Feilhaber, and Freddy Adu) have been called up to Bob Bradley's senior side in preparation for this coming Wednesday's friendly at Wembley. An opening 3-2 loss to the Turks and a 1-0 slip to the Elephants of the Cote left our boys languishing at the bottom of their group and bereft of any shot at the next round. So the game against Italy really meant nothing, and again the Red, White, and Blue spurned a chance of picking up at least some points in France.

Oh well. Let's see how the vets fair against Capello's English outfit at the midweek. After all, professional Dishwasher by day, American soccer god by night Joe Gaetjens lifted us past the meatpiers in the 1958 World Cup.

Prediction: California surfer-dude by day, California surfer-dude by night Landon Donovan will take us back to the glory days with a cheeky lob.

Happy Birthday Carlos Bocanegra

The American center back's 29th birthday finds him clubless.  Someone sign Charlie Black Mouth.  While we at Absolute Stunners are partial to goals, this video seems more fitting for our birthday boy:

ASotD: Pele vs. Roma (Completely Ridic)

Check out this fantastic effort from F.C. Internazionale winger Pele vs. Roma.  A truly absolute stunner.

Roundup of Today's Friendly Action

Netherlands-3 

The Ukraine-0

Dutch goals come from Kuyt, Babel, and KJ Huntelaar as the lowland folk annihilate World Cup 2006  quarterfinalists Ukraine.  Notably absent was aging AC Milan midfielder Clarence Seedorf who quit the team over a dispute with coach Marco Van Basten, who throughout his tenure has favored younger players who ply their trade in the Eredivisie over European stars.  This news bothers me greatly, not because I am any great fan of Seedorf's, but because he proved on Wednesday that he is the worst announcer of all time.  Notably, he had no idea who Patrice Evra was, repeatedly calling him "that guy."  To be fair, English is probably his fourth language (Dutch is his native tongue and he has lived for 5+ years in Italy and Spain), but then why was ESPN counting on him to provide commentary for the biggest club match of the season?  Hopefully, they don't make the same mistake twice and stick him in the booth for the Euro.  Marcelo Balboa is bad enough.

Hungary-3

Greece-2

Um, really?  Ok maybe it is tough to win in Budapest, but when your primary strength is the stinginess of your back line, you can't allow three goals to the 57th ranked team in the latest FIFA rankings (between Cyprus and Macedonia!).  Considering nobody has ever successfully defended their Euro title, Greece stands little chance of becoming the first this summer.  

Switzerland-2

Slovakia-0

Croatia-1

Moldova-0

Way to go guys.  

Helpful Schedule

Here's a schedule for the Euro 2008 matches, graciously provided by our superiors at uefa.com:

Click for EURO 2008 SCHEDULE

Euro 2008 Thoughts

We'd love to hear any early comments or predictions you may have concerning the upcoming Euro 2008.  Ideas on potential breakout performances, upset calls, etc. are all welcome.

For starters, I'm hoping top frog Raymond Domenech shows Gunner-to-be (that would be so tight) Samir Nasri some love by featuring him in the French XI as much as possible.  Young'n Karim Benzema will have to do a lot more than his fair share up top to cover for out-of-form and basically spent forward Thierry Henry, and the goalkeeping will need to be not only solid but spectacular if La Belle France are to survive what is the most difficult group in the opening stage of the tournament.  This is a French squad that have quite a bit of experience playing with one another, especially at the club level; 7-time Ligue 1 Champions Olympique Lyonnais have contributed an impressive 8 players to the squad.  The team is full of relatively fresh blood, so the French performance in this tournament will be an important factor in gauging the continuing maturation of the country's starlets.  They need do better than the French U-21 side who so far have failed to make any real impact on home turf in Toulon.  Allez les Bleus!

Avram back to the Grave

The haunting spectre that is (was?) Avram Grant may now rest in peace after failing to capture any silverware on behalf of Chelski this season.

Tell me he doesn't look like a zombie:

 

Absolute Stunner of the Day (ASotD): Dean Windass!!!

The sensibly named striker sends Hull City into the Premiership with the inaugural ASotD:

Aliaksandr Глеб

Arsenal fans, Londoners and foreign supporters alike, have already had to cope with the loss of aspiring actor (see interview) Matthieu Flamini to the Garishly Uncouth Idiots Dwindling On in Milan's "Athletic Club."  Unfortunately, it seems as though our most esteemed Belorussian, save Vladimir Karatkyevich, likely will flee the Emirates for some pomodoro e basilico as well, as rumors declaring Hleb's imminent arrival permeate Italian dailies.  Or he may savor instead Madrid's tortillas, according to his trusty agent.

Who can blame Aleks for such considerations when the pride of English cuisine is the hit-or-miss meatpie.

Paps

Euro 2008

In two weeks, Europe's finest (with the notable exception of the Brits, who got far too much attention in the Champions' League) will descend upon Austria and Switzerland seeking glory in the world's second most prestigious quadrennial athletics competition.  

The groups are as follows:

GROUP A  (grupo do morte)

Czech Republic

Portugal

Switzerland

Turkey

GROUP B

Austria 

Croatia

Poland 

Germany (Note:  it is always a good sign when you have occupied every other nation in your group)

GROUP C (Groupe de mort)

France 

Italy

Netherlands

Romania

GROUP D (συγκρότημα από θάνατος)

Greece 

Russia

Spain

Sweden

Basically, this is anyone's tournament to win.  Bodog has Germany the favorite at 4-1 followed by Spain at 6-1, Italy and Portugal at 7-1, and France at 8-1.  Every team has to fancy its chances of reaching the knockout stage except the poorly drawn Romanians and the abortion that is the Austrian football squad.  

Remember, Greece came out of nowhere to win in 2004, so anything can happen.  With my luck it will be Romania v. Austria in the Ernst Happel Stadium on June 29th playing for the right to be crowned European Champion.

Absolute Stunners

In case you are unsure about the genesis of our blog's title...RAY PARLOUR!!!!  ABSOLUTE STUNNER!!!!!